Recently, one of my best friends, Nikki, reached out to me and let me know that her sister in law was just diagnosed with breast cancer. I hate hearing of new cases, especially of those close to me. She asked me for suggestions on what to buy or what to do to help her SIL. Since this is still so fresh in my life, I was able to immediately come up with a list that was helpful to me during the time that I was diagnosed, taking chemo, post surgery and even now, post cancer. She, being a blogger and social media goddess that she is, asked me to publish this list in hopes of helping others who are wondering and Googling the same question. Face-palm... duh. Why didn't I think of this??? Must be the residual-chemo-brain....
So here it goes. These are 16 of my own personal "Moya's Favorite Cancer Things" (I should have my own show like Oprah and Ellen and their "favorite things") that my friends and family did for me that was priceless and most valuable to my family and me while I battled cancer:
1. Meals - I didn't think I needed meals, but they turned out to be a lifesaver. What it did was allowed us the time, as a family, that we needed to be together and hold things together instead of always thinking of what to make for dinner. I was so appreciative when it was forced it upon me by the same friend that asked that I publish this list. There are several sites out there that help you set something like this up and it's all done thru email. My personal fav is www.mealtrain.com.
2. Someone at each treatment with me - The nurses always teased me that I always brought an army with me at treatments but they said it was fantastic. I will say, though, that you should be careful how many people come and just be mindful of the other patients receiving chemo, especially those who didn't bring anyone to sit with them. Since my treatments were 4-5 hours long, staggering visits during that block of time was helpful. This was also something that was prearranged by my dear friend, Danette.
3. Hats of all kinds - Don't buy "normal" hats that you'd find at your local stores. They aren't designed for chemo patients. They don't come down in the back far enough and half your bald head ends up showing. I got all of mine from www.HeadCovers.com. My personal favorite was the "gathered newsboy" hat (pictured below). But the newsboy style in general is really cute. Also get some sleep caps or ones you can just wear around the house. I always had one ready for the SECOND I stepped out of the shower. The "chemo-do" is not exactly warm. BRRRR!!!!!
On the same line of hats, I had a wonderful friend from high school whose mom made me some fun do-rags! I LOVED these things!! The best part was that they were handmade and personalized. Go Mizzou! And thank you, Deonna and Mrs. Lemasters!
4. Decorative Silk/Cotton Scarves - Mainly for dressing up (again, get them from www.HeadCovers.com or make sure they are long enough to tie whilst covering the entire head).
5. Hoodies - I lived in these. Your head gets really cold and makes your body really cold. I wore these even thru the summer.
6. Fuzzy warm blankets - I just can't stress this enough...
Chemo = Freeze. Your. Ass. Off.
I had
received so many blankets. But I had them in every room and even kept
one in my car for long rides or chemo days. My absolute favorites were the "no-sew" fleece kind that people make by tying the pieces together. They're super simple to make, you can personalize the fabric and they are sooooooo fuzzy warm!
7. Fuzzy warm socks (feeling the fuzzy theme going on, here?) - My feet were (and still are!) like popsicles!! This little piggy went to the market... this little piggy and 8 others accidentally got stuck in the walk-in freezer at previous said market!
8. Comfy button down shirts for mastectomy - This one is good for breast cancer patients. I wasn't able to lift my arms after my double mastectomy, much less MOVE them.
9. Cups - My good friend, Diana, gave me a bunch of tumbler type cups with straws. I used those A LOT and kept them bedside. You take so many pills while you're on chemo that it's sometimes just easier to keep everything by your bed.
10. Money - My Kappa Delta Sorority Sisters did this for me and I was speechless. Never would I have ever asked for money to help with medical bills, but never was I ever more grateful to receive it! The ring leader of the group, one of my former KD House Roomies, Marcy, put out a private message to all of my sorority sisters who are on Facebook, asking if anyone would be interested in contributing to a "Beautification Fund" for me. I could use this money for whatever I wanted, but they wanted me to feel pretty and comfortable. As I'm writing this, emotions are all over the place all over again.
There are several websites out there that can help you set up a donation site to collect money. One example of a site that serves that purpose is www.GoFundMe.com.
11. House Cleaning - There is a service called, "Cleaning for a Reason." It is a cleaning service that caters specifically to cancer patients. After you fill out the application (you need to also have a letter from your oncologist stating you are a cancer patient), you could qualify for a free house cleaning once a month for 4 months. My friend, Tina, from high school, who also battled cancer, owns a cleaning company and told me about this. This is the link: www.CleaningForAReason.org
12. Little Pink House of Hope - Another good friend, Aimee, told me about this site. It is an opportunity for chemo patients and their families to go on a retreat (aka vacation / getaway from all the cancer crap). They pick families every year to get a free retreat to one of their locations. Check out the site and read the story behind the lady who started it. I didn't sign up for it initially. Every time I thought about it, I just kept putting it off thinking "I don't need this.... This should be for terminal patients." But then one day I thought, "Screw it... My family has gone thru hell. We deserve a shot at it too." But by then it was kind of too late, as they already made their selections for the year. But it's a great opportunity for others going thru it! The website is: www.LittlePink.org
13. Earrings - I used to wear earrings a lot as a teenager but as I got older, they just seemed like a big pain in the rear. However, when you lose your hair, you need anything and everything to keep you looking like a girl. Earrings were my best friend! Long, dangly ones, hoops... lots of hoops, silver ones, gold ones, big ones... you name it, I wore it!
14. Good Eye Makeup - Kind of like the "Chemo makes you cold" thing.... Baldness makes you not look like the woman you naturally look like with hair. So... that being said, I wore so much eye make up that prostitutes were practically asking me for makeup advice.
15. Special Mascara - My sweet friend and sorority sister, Tracy, sent me some Younique brand 3-D Lash Mascara. This stuff is UH-MAZING!! Side note: Chemo made my eyelashes very thin and short. I didn't lose ALL of my lashes, but I did lose most. Now that they are growing back, they are still wimpy wimpy wimpy. This Younique mascara literally adds fibers to your lashes, giving them volume and length like you won't believe. My lashes are amaz-BALLS now!!! In fact, I loved it so much that I joined Tracy's team and am now selling this cancer/chemo must-have. Check it out.... : www.MoyasMascara.com
I'll leave you and end this list with my personal favorite...
15. Face Paint - Okay, let's face it. Cancer sucks. But when on earth will you ever have the chance to have a bald head again?? I mean, nobody really ever chooses to shave their hair off (as a woman... unless you're Britney Spears and going thru a young-life crisis). I saw this as an opportunity to play that cancer card and play it loud and proud! Hey, it got my friends and me down to the St. Louis Cardinal's dugout to meet Joe Kelly, after all. My only regret is that I waited until I was already done with chemo to start capitalizing on my bald head. Make sure you buy the kind that is water-based (not oil-based) and dries.
I say, "Paint that beautiful, bald noggin and for God's sake, make it worth it while you can!" (I DO have to credit my Joe Kelly-obsessed friend, Beth, for this grand idea! Oh, and my very artistic hubs, Mark, for the paint job.)
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