I should say post-HARSH-chemo. I still have to take a maintenance chemo (Herceptin) until February. Thankfully, there are little to no side effects (that I know of, at least) from the Herceptin.
But there's plenty of other things going on.....
1. I currently take Tamoxifen, which is a hormone blocker. My particular type of breast cancer tested positive for the estrogen and progesterone hormone receptors, meaning we know that hormones fed my tumor. So... 10 years of daily oral Tamoxifen pills it is!
2. These "expanders" are obnoxious. I gave you some insight as to what they feel like in your pits in a previous post... Here's what they feel like from the front.
a. Put on a sports bra that is 6 sizes too small. For you
men, just grab your wife's sports bra.
b. Take an ace bandage wrap and wrap it very tightly
around your chest 5 times.
c. Give it one more tug for an even tighter fit.
d. Go to your refrigerator and grab 2 grapefruits (the less
ripe the better).
e. Fit the grapefruits into your sports bra, emulating
boobs.
f. Once again, tug on the ace wrap to tighten once more
until it hurts.
g. Now try to take a full breath or sleep on your tummy
or side....
h. Wear that for 4 months until you swap out for
squishies (that's November 3rd for me! Yay!)
3. I have developed "trigger finger" and major stiffness in my joints (mainly my hands and feet) from what I am convinced is because of the Tamoxifen. When I clench my fist, my middle finger that I jammed in gymnastics in 6th grade sticks.
It's just too bad it doesn't stick the opposite way! I could really have fun with that... "What, I'm SORRY, boys! I can't help it! Now go clean your damn rooms and leave me alone already!!" (insert reverse trigger-finger...)
4. My memory is forever gone and ruined. I've done that, "Heyyyy!! How are YOU??" thing in grocery stores when people I know I've met say "hi" to me. Then, like a big fat stalker, I take a sneaky picture of the person and text it to my friend who I'm SURE knows that person, asking who the hell they are. PUH-thetic.
5. I'm a little annoyed... Okay, no. Let's just call a cat a cat here. I'm REALLY annoyed that the hair on my body is growing faster and longer than the hair on my head!!! You don't have to use your imagination... it's what you think.
6. Speaking of cats (this has nothing to do with chemo, but remember how I said my memory is bad? Well, my attention span is even worse...). The other day, Alex and I walked into the house after we came home from his Karate class and he asks, "What smells like cat??"
Without even thinking, I said, "It's our Chinese food we ordered..." Oh. That was weird. meow.
7. I've been really worn out going back to work and working a full day. This frustrates me to no end. I'm used to go-go-go and this is supposed to be the downhill cruise, so to speak. I saw my oncologist and demanded that she tell me the date when I'd feel better (I know...). She said, likely 6 months after my surgery (which was June 3rd) since I also had some pretty rough chemo, a sinus infection and an additional crazy accidental-port-line-losing surgery.
Erg. I cried, she prescribed me an antidepressant, I filled the RX then tossed it into the trash. Later that night, I found just what I needed (instead of an antidepressant, I self-diagnosed myself like I like to do, and determined that I needed an anti-frustration fix instead). My good friend from childhood, who was visiting from out of town, walked into my home and presented the perfect "anti-pissed-off" remedy (which she magically pulled out of the trunk of her car! My kind of gal... and car).
Now THAT'S what I'm talking about. I'm almost positive this is how alcoholism starts. But I'm no quitter - Cheers!
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