Holy crap those drugs did a number!

July 31, 2014  


So... Next day, and I'm getting flashbacks of things I vaguely remember from yesterday. Let me put my disclaimer out there first.... I was on Fentanyl.

1. When I was woken up after the first surgery, the nurse first told me where I was and then explained that I was waking up. Then she told me (keep in mind, still groggy and everyone sounded like Charlie Brown's teacher), "Dr. Suppes was able to put your new port in, but had problems with removing the first port line. So, we're going to wah-wah-wha-wha radiology wha-wha with the old port line. Then it's going in your groin wha-wha-wha chemo port."

2. I fell back asleep again, woke back up and asked the nurse if she told me that she said the port was in, and the line was going back in but the chemo would go to my crotch?? All I heard was "groin" and "chemo". Thankfully (again, I love all nurses now) she giggled and clarified. Whew. That's all I need... Hoo-Hoo Cancer on top of it.

3. The 2nd surgeon who was prepping me to go run a line in thru my groin, "covered" the other side of the "very near groin area" (you get what I mean) with some sticky bandage stuff and I asked him if this was my "Free Wax". WTF, Moya... Even that's a bit odd for ME to ask.

4. The 2nd surgeon kept telling me to take deep breaths once in a while so he could see something on the screens better. Then he'd say, "Okay, you can breathe again. That was a good breath." Once, he told me to take another deep breath and hold it again.... I swear I think 18 minutes went by.... (Okay, maybe a minute). I exhaled like I was a Navy Diver and said, "Holy shit, dude... I can't hold my breath that long!!" He quickly and apologetically said, "Oh, oops! Breathe anytime! Don't wait for me. Sorry.... But that was a good breath." Well, duh... I was purple by then.

5. I KNOW my husband when it comes to his family. Mark was so freaked out. I kept asking the nurse to please feed my husband some Jelly Belly candies or Hot Tamales (since I knew he wouldn't leave the waiting room to get food in case he missed something) and update him every 30 minutes or he'll be that crazy worried husband rushing his way into the surgical room to find me and demand an update and get arrested like you see on TV. They were so sweet and got him food and nobody got arrested.

6. I remember now that I was trying to impress the main surgeon who was fishing thru my jugular vein, by telling him that "It is absolutely contraindicated to administer Heparin in a patient who presents with a subdural hematoma." He agreed. However, it had absolutely nothing to do with my surgery. I just remember learning that when I was on a jury for a medical malpractice suit 7 years ago.

7. My sweet recovery nurse, Kate, asked me what kind of cancer I had. I said prostate. She laughed... Then said that's what her dad had. I'm an asshole.

8. I told everyone who worked at Boone Hospital that they had issues with some of their drop ceiling tiles. Keep in mind that's all I stared at for like 8 hours. Looked like there might be some stains from leaking at some point and they should have them replaced and watch for leaky pipes. I guess you can take the hotel regional manager out of the hotel, but...

That's all that's coming to me right now.. I'm sure there will be more :)